Judges
chapter 12 reminds me of how destructive family squabbles can become.
Jephthah had just won a great battle against the army of
the Ammonites who had been oppressing the Israelites for
eighteen years. The chapter begins with the men of Ephraim angrily
berating their brothers; “Why
did you go to fight the Ammonites without calling on us to go with
you?”
Listen to the hostility in their attitude; “We’re
going to burn down your house over your head“.
Recall this is almost the same response the tribe of Ephraim
had toward Gideon (Judges 8:1). Gideon was a humble man and with
humility he was able to respond to Ephraim by honoring them. In
contrast, here Jephthah essentially calls them cowards. “Although
I called, you didn’t save me out of their hands. When I saw you
wouldn’t help… I crossed over… and the Lord gave me the
victory. Now you come to fight me?”
Ephraim begins the hostility, and Jephthah is going to give it right
back. In our families, they say “it takes two to tango”. Rarely
do fights start and end with one person. Often we feel justified in
responding to anger with anger. It is in our nature; when we are
pushed, we want to push back. And the world supports that
completely. “He deserved that” or “She had that coming”.
The problem is that is not what our Lord taught.
Jesus
said, in Luke 6:28-3: “But
I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate
you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If
someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If
someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.
Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to
you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to
you.” (Sadly
it must be pointed out THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE ABUSE. “The other
check” refers to an insult, not an assault. Allowing abuse to
continue is dangerous. No one “deserves” abuse ever.) In
Matthew 5:44-46, Jesus similarly explains, “I
tell you: Love your enemies
and
pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father
in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and
sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those
who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax
collectors doing that?”
It is easy to love those that show us kindness; the test of Christian
maturity comes when we are met with harshness.
Romans
12:20-21
reminds us that by demonstrating love, hearts and minds can be
changed. “If
your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something
to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
The reaction when we retaliate with kindness can be life-changing.
The
rest of Judges 12 describes the alternative. Brother fought against
brother and “forty-two
thousand Ephraimites were killed at that time“.
Destruction and waste are the byproduct of retaliating according to
our nature. Matthew 5:23 reminds us that when we hold onto anger, it
effects the rest of our lives. It even prevents us from giving in
peace.
“First
go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”
We each have a choice. We can respond according to our flesh, or
allow God’s Holy Spirit to work through us. Do not allow pride to
steal the joy God has for you.