2
Samuel 14 reminds me how incredibly stubborn we can be about not
letting the past go. People spend a lifetime holding on to
bitterness, refusing to forgive someone that harmed them or worse,
they can’t forgive themselves. Over time, bitterness will grow and
choke out our joy. The chapter begins with Joab, King David’s
loyal friend, devising a plan to reconcile David with his son
Absalom. Remember in the previous chapter Absalom had killed his
brother in retribution for the rape of their own sister. Absalom
fled the country and David mourned the loss. Three years passed and
“King
David longed for his son every day“.
Joab, knowing the King’s heart, took action. He hired an actress
to come to the king. “Pretend
you are in mourning… Dress in mourning clothes… Act like a woman
who has spent many days grieving for the dead. Then go to the king
and speak these words to him… And Joab put these words in her
mouth“.
She told a story that paralleled the king’s own situation.
Joab’s plan counted on the king’s compassion to pardon her
fictitious son. When the king pardoned her son completely she
replied, “When
the king says this, does he not convict himself, for the king has not
brought back his banished son?”
Sometimes we need a devoted friend’s help to see our own situation
clearly.
The
king said to Joab, “Very
well,
I will do it. Go, bring back the young man Absalom.”
But he does not let go completely. “But
the king said, ‘He must go to his own house; he must not see my
face.’ So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of
the king“.
Half-hearted forgiveness does not bring healing. “Absalom
lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king’s face“.
Both men are too proud to give in and neither has peace.
“Then Absalom sent for Joab in order to send him to the king…
‘Now then, I want to see the king’s face, and if I am guilty of
anything, let him put me to death’.”
There are always risks when we seek reconciliation, but notice how
both men act once the pride is removed. “So
Joab went to the king and told him this. Then the king summoned
Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground
before the king. And the king kissed Absalom“.
Sadly, Absalom did not reciprocate. Instead, as we will read, he
held on to the bitterness.
Matthew
5:23-24 reminds us that the relationships we have with each other
affect our relationship with God. “Therefore
if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your
brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the
altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then
come and offer your gift“.
Often it is pride that prevents us from saying the five most powerful
words in the world; “I’m sorry, please forgive me”. Is there
something hindering you from real peace? Don’t let your pride keep
you from today’s joy.