Song of Solomon chapter 4 reminds me of how poor I can be
at noticing and complementing my wife. Here Solomon is teaching men
about the benefit of flirtatious observation and the need for setting
the mood. He studies his bride with the lights on, arousing her with
words, making her feel desirable. He speaks to delight and excite in
a seductive tone. There is no rush, this is their time alone. His
foreplay begins hours before bedtime and there is little doubt that
she confidently responds to him. The chapter begins, “How
beautiful you are, my darling! Your eyes behind your veil are
doves“.
We have a sense that he does not break eye contact as he slowly
reveals more of her. He continues to tantalize with each new visual.
The translation does not give justice to the full meaning, so I will
leave it open to your imagination. “Your
hair is like… Your teeth are like… Your lips are like a scarlet
ribbon; your mouth is lovely“.
The important part is that he lets her know that he is taking in all
of her beauty and their mutual arousal is clear. “Your
neck is like… Your breasts are like… Until the day breaks and the
shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh“.
Folks, this is not a quickie. They will honeymoon and spoon until
high noon. She responds and he does not hold back, “You
are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you“.
When was the last time you complimented her loveliness? Have you
made her feel desirable?
Physical
attention breeds more affection and even more unity. “Come
with me from Lebanon, my bride… You have stolen my heart, my
sister, my bride… with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel
of your necklace“.
She does not discourage him; perhaps she even dresses to excite him.
She has his total attention, “How
delightful is your love…
How
much more pleasing is your love than wine… Your lips drop sweetness
as the honeycomb“.
Jobs and kids and other people can frequently derail the trip before
it starts, but they both keep trying to make the effort, “The
fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon“.
Romance can bloom again with watchful words of sensuality. Don’t
remain silent.
The
chapter closes with more kindling for building the home fire. He
points out her chaste fidelity. He notes that her passion is immense
and reserved for him alone. “You
are a garden locked up…a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain“.
In that he sees her as his total satisfaction, “Your
plants are…choice fruits… You are a garden fountain, a well of
flowing water streaming down“.
Oh yes, she does respond. Her words are an invitation, fully
accepting his advances, “Let
my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits“.
We joke sometimes that God blesses long marriages with failing
vision so we can easily look past the imperfections. Even with the
lights out, words of enticement have power. Marriage is a picture
symbolizing God’s relationship with His church. For this reason,
believers are encouraged to respect their roles. Ephesians 5: 22-27
explains,
“Wives,
submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For
the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the
church… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church
and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing
her
by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to
Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other
blemish, but holy and blameless“.
If Christ is your Savior, God sees you as perfect. Will you respond
to His affection?