1 Corinthians 7 reminds me of learning about sex from my buddies growing up. The confusing mess of misinformation lacked accuracy and understanding. Today’s lesson is Paul having “The Talk” with the church. Paul begins with a statement that has been used to promote a misguided doctrine. “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” He will go on to put that into context. First, he adds structure to marriage: “each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” He wades into the deep end quickly by addressing the concept of frequency. “The Husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” He adds, “Do not deprive each other.” Marriages that lack intimacy become fragile. The only exception is “by mutual consent and for a time” to devote yourself to prayer; “Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you.” Sexual intimacy fortifies marriage. Paul adds a comment about his own situation: “I wish that all of you were as I am.” As an apostle, Paul devoted his entire life to preaching salvation through Christ. Being unmarried allowed him more time to serve God, but we are not all called to be apostles. Life-long celibacy is incompatible for most people. Paul concludes: “It is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Perhaps this is the reason Paul included marriage as a requirement for leadership within the church (Titus 1:6).
Next, Paul teaches about divorce. He uses very strong language to clarify that there are circumstances that can end a marriage, but tearing apart that union will cause trauma. He stresses that “A wife must not separate from her husband… And a husband must not divorce his wife.” There are biblical reasons for divorce, including abuse, infidelity and abandonment. Paul adds a prohibition against remarrying. I think this is to warn that cheating has horrific consequences. Paul also taught; if the spouse is “not a believer… he must not divorce her” and “she must not divorce him.” If we can live in peace, we may be able to lead our spouse to Christ. But he allows for the sad reality: “if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so.”
For the rest of the chapter, Paul teaches new believers to remain where we were called. For many, the salvation experience is revolutionary. I think he is warning against making rash decisions. His first example is circumcision. A man cannot be “uncircumcised”. He is illustrating the need to allow Christ to change us right where we are, before we run off to change the world. He asks, “Were you a slave when you were called?” Paul is not endorsing slavery. He adds, “if you can gain your freedom, do so.” He is saying the moment you accepted Christ as Lord: “You were bought at a price”; therefore, we first honor Christ in whatever role we have. What if you are unmarried? Marriage requires time and effort: “those who marry will face many troubles in this life.” The early church was under intense persecution. Paul notes that it is easier for a single person to dedicate time to minister. “An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs… But a married man is concerned about… how he can please his wife.” The same is true for a woman. Paul notes, he does not say this “to restrict you”, but because it is the best way to have “undivided devotion to the Lord.” Paul makes it very clear, “if his passions are too strong” then he should get married. In summary, if a man can live a celibate life without lusting… “he who marries… does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” His final instruction is for the wife. She “is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry.” Friend, the exclusive oneness of marriage is a privilege to be honored and protected.