2
Samuel chapter 10 reminds me how easily simple misunderstandings can
escalate into conflict in our relationships, particularly in our
marriage. When we know someone’s heart, we better understand their
actions. The chapter begins, “the
king of the Ammonites died, and his son Hanun succeeded him as king”
David decided, “I
will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, just as his father showed
kindness to me“.
“So
David sent a delegation to express his sympathy to Hanun concerning
his father“.
But notice how this simple gesture of kindness is perceived, “Do
you think David is honoring your father by sending men to you to
express sympathy? Hasn’t David sent them to you to explore the city
and spy it out and overthrow it?”
It is so important that we surround ourselves with people with good
discernment! Because he misinterpreted David’s intentions, “Hanun
seized David’s men, shaved off half of each man’s beard, cut off
their garments in the middle at the buttocks, and sent them away“.
This insult was a very personal humiliation directed at the manhood
of the king himself.
As
always, once communication stops, the conflict intensifies. “When
the Ammonites realized that they had become a stench in David’s
nostrils, they hired twenty thousand Aramean foot soldiers“.
Next we see an uncharacteristic reaction from David, “On
hearing this, David sent Joab out with the entire army of fighting
men“.
David left the battle up to someone else while he stayed home! This
indifference foreshadows the major crisis ahead for David.
Indifference and apathy are the two hardest attitudes to deal with in
marriage. David left the battle up to General Joab. “Joab…
selected some of the best troops in Israel and deployed them against
the Arameans. He put the rest of the men under the command of Abishai
his brother and deployed them against the Ammonites“.
Whenever you go to battle, it is best to have someone you trust at
your side. They offer unconditional support, “[If I struggle]
then you are to come to my rescue; but if the Ammonites are too
strong for you, then I will come to rescue you“.
And the result of the joint effort; “the
Arameans… fled before him“.
Ecclesiastes
chapter 4 discusses the advantages of unity in marriage. “Two
are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him
who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again,
if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be
warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can
withstand him“.
Then we read the wonderful summary statement, “And
a threefold cord is not quickly broken“.
Who is this third cord? It is God Himself. When two people submit
to the same Lord there is another level of strength and unity. In
the battles that are ahead of you, remember, “We
do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities,
against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,
against spiritual hosts
of wickedness in the heavenly places”
(Ephesians 6:12). Don’t go into battle unarmed!