2
Samuel chapter 13 reveals some of the skeletons in the closet of King
David’s family. I believe ultimately God holds the father
responsible for providing the guidance in his home. 1 Timothy
chapter 3 includes the following qualification for a man that is to
hold a position of responsibility in the church: “one
who rules his own house well, having his
children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know
how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of
God?)“.
From a parent’s perspective, we are responsible for our
children’s actions only to a point. After adulthood, they will
make their own choices, but every parent has the responsibility to
correct, direct and discipline their children along the way. As
we take on more responsibility at work, our family can suffer.
Keeping a proper work- home balance with two working parents is even
more difficult. As the chapter begins, we get the sense that some of
King David’s children have become accustomed to getting their own
way and have not developed their own relationship with God. “Amnon
son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom
son of David“.
Technically she was his half-sister, David’s children from
different wives. Amnon was first born and seemed to feel entitled to
anything he wanted.
Amnon
and his “shrewd”
cousin Janadab created a plan to entrap Tamar. Pretending to be too
sick to eat, he invited his sister to come to his home to cook for
him and bring him a meal in bed. “Tamar
took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon
in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her
and said, ‘Come to bed with me, my sister’.”
Tamar did all she could to resist. “Don’t
force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this
wicked thing“.
“But
he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he
raped her“.
To confirm the character of the man, we read his reaction to the
woman after he got what he wanted, “Then
Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than
he had loved her. Amnon said to her, ‘Get up and get out!’“.
An important note to young ladies, there are those predators out
there that simply seek the conquest. Never confuse love and lust.
The
tragic tale continued with Tamar’s brother Absalom taking her
in. “Tamar
lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman… Absalom
never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon
because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.”
Absalom waited two years before taking revenge. Perhaps he was
hoping King David would take action, but of David, all we read was
that “he
was furious“.
Finally the night comes, “Absalom
ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from
drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him.”
After killing his brother, Absalom fled the country. “After
Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. And the
spirit of the king longed to go to Absalom“.
David’s inactivity planted seeds of rebellion in Absalom that will
later take root. Ephesians 6:4 is quite direct; it is dad’s
responsibility to correct his children according to God’s Word.
“And
you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them
up in the training and admonition of the Lord“.
Please remember, we are called to be parents, not friends, to our
children. Feeling inadequate? Call on the Holy Spirit of
God to give you wisdom again and again. I remind my children,
God’s Word is inerrant, but I am not.