Proverbs
23 reminds me of those very brief father-son moments, just before the
important firsts. The first day of school, the first at-bat, the
first time eating at a friend’s, the first bike ride, the first
time driving alone, the first date, the first heartbreak, the first
day of college, the first time moving out. We want to prepare them,
to coach them, to warn them and to add final instruction. We want to
let go but we want to protect. We know they will meet new challenges
and we know the will make new choices and some of them will not be
good. Solomon begins cram session, “When
you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what
is
before you…
Do
not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive“.
In a way, this is an analogy for life. Many things are set before
us and not all of them are as beneficial as they first appear. He
continues his rapid-fire monolog, “Do
not wear yourself out to get rich… they will surely sprout wings
and fly off… Do not eat the food of a begrudging host… Do not
speak to fools… Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to
words of knowledge“. I
picture Solomon pausing to note that his son is not writing any of
this down! Perhaps thinking back, he writes, “Do
not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with
the rod, they will not die“.
Every parent doubts themselves when their child makes bad choices.
God gives each of us free will.
Solomon
blurts out his real desire, “My
son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad indeed;
my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right“.
And he quickly resumes the lesson, “Do
not let your heart envy sinners… There is surely a future hope for
you“. Solomon says
plainly, “Do
not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat,
for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them
in rags“. I wonder if
he is seeing a pattern in his son’s life? He almost begs, “Listen
to your father, who gave you life… Buy the truth and do not sell
it“. Solomon
understands that the lessons of life can be a cruel teacher and he
wants to spare his son the pain. “The
father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise
son rejoices in him“.
The
chapter ends with a description of the place bad choices can
eventually lead. I do not know if Solomon is speaking from personal
experience, or observation, but the words are filled with emotion.
“An
adulterous woman is a deep pit, and a wayward wife is a narrow well.
Like
a bandit she lies in wait and multiplies the unfaithful among men“.
He asks, “Who
has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has needless bruises? Who has
bloodshot eyes?“.
He answers, “Those
who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine“.
This is the one who drinks to get drunk. At first, “it
goes down smoothly“,
but, “In
the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper“.
He explains, “Your
eyes will
see
strange sights, and your mind will imagine confusing things…
like one sleeping on the high seas… They beat me, but I don’t
feel it! When will I wake up so I can find another drink?“.
We remember this guy from frat parties, but he is not invited to
dinner these days. Friend, here is the reason for my hope. 1
Corinthians chapter 6 lists the kind of activities that separate
folks from the love of God. Then, looking around at those that have
now received God’s forgiveness, he points out, “And
that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were
sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ
and by the Spirit of our God“.
Maybe today will be a first for you?