Proverbs
31once again reminds me of the common expression of mothers that “No
one is good enough for my son”. We do not know for certain who
wrote this chapter, but we do know that it is basically the advice of
a mother to her son about the importance of choosing the right mate.
This doting mom calls her son, “The
answer to my prayers!“.
Her wisdom begins by explaining, to find the right queen; you need
to be the right prince. “It
is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer“.
There is not much wiggle room here. She is not saying it is sinful
to drink, she is saying you need to stay on your toes to catch the
right lady. She adds, “Speak
up for those who cannot speak for themselves“.
This implies compassion mixed with an awareness of others. I
believe our actions speak louder than our words, and the right mate
notices. The rest of the chapter focuses on “The
Wife of Noble Character“,
but clearly these two work in tandem, each one making the other
better than either could be on their own. Mama reminds him that this
kind of lady is hard to find, “She
is worth far more than rubies“.
There is a level of trust that is all-encompassing, “Her
husband has full confidence in her“.
This includes far more than just with the checkbook. He does not
doubt her decision making, or her fidelity. Mama observes, “She
brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life“.
Are you the kind of mate you would want?
Next
she focuses on financial unity. Any couple that marries without
pre-marriage counseling that includes a discussion on the budget is
foolish. This is an area the can pull two people together or drive a
wedge between them. This lady runs a tight ship, she is industrious
in keeping the home. She “works
with eager hands… gets up while it is still night; she
provides food for her family… out
of her earnings she plants a vineyard… work vigorously; her
arms
are strong for her tasks“.
She is physically, spiritually and mentally strong, “her
trading is
profitable, and
her lamp does not go out at night… and extends her hands to the
needy“. And there is a
reference that she builds up her husband as well. She honors him and
respects him and he rewards her by being a man worthy of her
expectations, “Her
husband is respected at the city gate“.
He is a reflection of her exhortation.
The
chapter closes with a confirmation that none of this is for show.
The life they have built together is established on the foundation of
changeless truth. Fashions change, styles change, and faces change
over time, but lives that trust in God’s mercy endure. “She
is
clothed
with strength and dignity;
she
can laugh at the days to come“.
There is so much more to her than the outward beauty of youth.
“Faithful
instruction
is
on her tongue…
She
watches over the affairs of her household… Her
children arise and call her blessed; her husband also“.
Children have a way of describing their parents by exaggerating
flaws. Sometimes even a modest complement can warm us for months.
This husband also does not hesitate to praise her, “Many
women do noble things, but you surpass them all“.
Mama concludes with this bit of wisdom, “Charm
is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD
is to be praised. Honor her…bring her praise at the city gate“.
Does your marriage need a clean slate? Ephesians 5:25 tells us
where to begin, “Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up
for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water
through the Word“.
None of us are good enough for the Son, yet He died for you. Will
you live a life worthy of His gift?