Proverbs 5 reminds me of a line in a song
from the 1960’s, “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”.
While I am not a fan of confessing our past to our children, in this
proverb, Solomon seems to indicate he is talking from his own
personal experience. He begins, “My
son…
listen
well to
my
words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may
preserve knowledge“. I
prefer to leave the past in the past, but I will make an exception
only when I think my history lesson can help someone else avoid the
same mistake. He continues, “For
the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than
oil;
but
in
the end she is bitter“.
To be clear, I believe he is literally talking about sexual
relations outside of marriage, but “the adulteress” could be any
harmful thing that takes time, money and attention away from your
spouse. Work, hobbies and social support are a necessary part of all
multi-dimensional adults, but other things just take. Solomon warns,
“Her
steps lead straight to the grave… She gives no thought to the way
of life… her paths are crooked, but she knows it not“.
Most of us have known people that are toxic to themselves and
everyone else that comes near. Very often, they blame the type of
people they attract rather than the choices they repeatedly make.
This dad says sternly, “Keep
to a path far from her,
do
not go near the door of her house“.
At
one time parents only had to worry about that one crazy friend, now
we have to be aware of the entire blogosphere. The internet provides
access to unlimited information and unlimited temptation. Do you
recognize an adulteress
in Solomon’s words?
He seems to
transition his comments from his sons to his memory. Hindsight
provides an entirely different level of instruction. We can feel the
pain in his words, “lest
you give your best strength to others and your years to one who is
cruel, lest strangers feast on your wealth
and
your toil enrich another man’s house“.
He seems to say to himself, “At
the end of your life you will groan“.
Time
inevitably reveals results of decisions made in youth. Listen to the
voice of regret, “How
I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!”
My friend today is a new day. Make a correction, change your path,
and look ahead.
Solomon closes with straight forward
marital advice for all of us. “Drink
water from your own cistern, running water from your own well“.
He is talking about fidelity. If that is not clear enough he adds,
“Let them
be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers“.
He caps off his instruction with the best option of all, “may
you rejoice in the wife of your youth… may you ever be captivated
by her love“. God’s
plan for marriage is explained simply in Genesis 2:24, “For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to
his wife, and they will become one flesh“.
Please note the order, Separation, Permanence, Unity, and then
Intimacy. God created marriage to be between one man and one woman
for a lifetime. Anything else is second best. If this does not
describe your situation, I believe God can weave together two
imperfect lives too. Even torn and jagged edges can be mended
perfectly when two people agree to submit to God’s authority. This
is your choice. The proverb closes with another lyric, “For
a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD… the cords of his sin
hold him fast… led astray by his own great folly“.
Idealistic folk singers believed in flower power, but I know, “All
Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking,
correcting and training in righteousness“.
Are you listening?