The Song of Solomon is a series of exchanges between a man and his betrothed. This is not a book for casual dating, but for those preparing for, or already married. We are able to listen in as they speak and even as their friends interact. To us, the reader, this is a wonderful reminder of the joy and beauty of innocent love, but there is an unmistakable pattern to follow for couples of every age. It reminds me that love is more than a feeling; it is the noble motivation to become everything your beloved thinks you are. Our words have transforming power to lift up or tear down. You can choose right now to use them to rekindle, restore or fortify the love of your life. Chapter 1 begins, “Let him kiss me… for your love is more delightful than wine“. There is nothing more alluring to a man than knowing he is desired. She makes that clear in subtle and overt ways. “Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume…No wonder the young women love you!” I never shine more brightly than when she boosts my confidence. Perhaps entering a room together she whispers in his ear, “Take me away with you let us hurry!” Their passion is obvious as their friends remark, “We rejoice and delight in you“. Still, she does not cease to reinforce him once again, “How right they are to adore you!” Do you search for compliments, or focus on flaws?
Next she assures him that she is his alone. Without this bond of trust, nothing permanent can be built. She seeks his attentive gaze, “Dark am I, yet lovely… I am darkened by the sun… My mother’s sons… made me take care of the vineyards“. She continues with a flirtatious thought, “Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock… at midday… Why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends?” She hints maybe she will meet him at lunch one of these days, and clearly there are things she shares with only him. She got his attention! He responds, “I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh’s chariot horses“. This is not a plow horse; it is the strong, sleek beauty that stands out from all others. And he does not hesitate to compliment her, “Your cheeks are beautiful” and let her know he wants to give her the finest things, “We will make you earrings of gold, studded with silver“. A woman that builds up her husband and titillates him and affirms his exclusive place will never have to ask for gifts.
Finally the poet teaches us that the words of love must be spoken. We need to hear them, and we need to speak them. I believe they speak about one another to friends in the same loving terms. “While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance. My beloved is to me…” Can you find enticing words to add here? He blurts out, “How beautiful you are, my darling!” and she responds, “How handsome you are, my beloved!” Has it been too long since you’ve heard these words or spoken them? Do you believe them? Financial pressure, family distractions, work deadlines and selfish pride can drive wedges between people. Marriages can be revitalized and a spark fanned into a flame by the 5 words in 1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive each other“. Interestingly, the preceding chapter also gives us this foundation, “You are not your own; you were bought at a price” (6:20). Friend, will you continue to build something that will endure? “The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs“. Build up your beau today.