Song
of Solomon 5 reminds me of the lyrics to an old song, “You don’t
know what you’ve got till it’s gone”. Sometimes this sad truth
can happen in marriage. Seemingly small things can grow into a gulf
of separation. Misplaced priorities and apathy can make a spouse
feel unappreciated. Sometimes the one that suffers in silence stops
making an effort. Reconciliation becomes too burdensome and one
partner leaves. Often this happens emotionally long before it
happens physically. Suddenly abandoned, reality sinks in. As the
chapter begins, their marriage is robust. They are mutually
satisfied and their relations are hot and heavy. “I
have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my
myrrh… I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my
wine and my milk“.
Their desire is obvious and their friends note their passion for one
another, “Eat,
friends, and drink; drink your fill of love“.
The birds and the bees are taking notes from this couple! What
happens when the honeymoon is over? It is at this point that
marriage must be built on something more enduring than just outward
attraction. Marriages that flourish prosper through sickness and
stress, through economic trouble and against father time. Galatians
5:22 contrasts the lust of the flesh to lovers filled with the Spirit
of God, “But the fruit of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control“.
What is at the center of your relationship?
The
chapter quickly shifts. Now she hears him arrive, but not with the
same excited anticipation, “My
beloved is knocking“.
He comes home still looking for a late night romp, “Open
to me…my darling…my flawless one“.
He has rushed to be with her, but perhaps what used to be a turn-on
is now just sweat, “My
head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night“.
Now, the excuses have begun, “I
have taken off my robe…
I
have washed my feet“.
He tries to get in, but does not have the key, “My
beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening“.
It seems that she finally gets warmed up to the idea, “I
arose to open for my beloved“,
but too late, “I
opened for my beloved, but my beloved had left; he was gone“.
We get the sense that he has been left out in the cold before.
“My
heart sank at his departure.
I
called him but he did not answer“.
Has your spouse stopped answering?
In
an earlier chapter she searched for him with youthful hope, but now
it is with empty regret. This time the watchmen treat her as if she
is up to no good and it is possible that she is. “They
beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak“.
This “bitter ex” becomes a target. She projects desperation,
and she is abused with no one to stand up for her. She posts a
message to the other women, “If
you find my beloved… Tell him I am faint with love“.
Amazingly these same words were spoken earlier, but now they sound
so hollow. “My
beloved is radiant…
outstanding
among ten thousand… His head is purest gold… His cheeks are like
beds of spice… His lips are like lilies… His
body is like polished ivory… His mouth is sweetness itself“.
Her paradise is now a parking lot. What happened? What caused this
marriage to fall apart? Emotional infidelity is a short step from
adultery, but the cost only becomes clear to her after it is over.
There is a spiritual application to this chapter as well. To those
who have ignored the Savior, listen to the words of Jesus in
Revelation 3:20, “Here I am! I
stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the
door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with Me“.
Jesus is a gentleman; He will not enter without being invited. Will
you let Him in before the opportunity is gone?