Song of Solomon 7 reminds me how differently men and women are wired. At a recent training seminar we discussed the human brain and how much happens below the cognitive thought. Decisions are made on a very basic level, but both sexes are not the same. In today’s chapter Solomon illustrates the differences. I believe this is a damaged relationship, in need of repair. He demonstrates what each of them need throughout the poem. She needs reassurance. She needs to know she is desirable to him. He begins, “How beautiful your sandaled feet… Your graceful legs are… the work of an artist’s hands“. There is nothing mechanical; he studies her, “Your navel is a rounded goblet… Your waist… Your breasts” with each word a gentle touch. He turns up the heat slowly and she responds. Her physical expression follows her feelings. He continues, remembering that her curvy road has speed limits, “Your neck… Your eyes… Your nose… Your hair… the king is held captive by its tresses“. A trust has been broken and she needs to hear him say these words. “How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights!” Men, there is a lesson here. She needs to know you notice and hear you complement and feel you want all of her. Do you desire to please her?
Interestingly, the next section sounds like they are back in the sack. Now notice that his feelings follow the action- the exact opposite of her. He says, “your breasts like clusters of fruit…I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit“. He has a simple on/off switch. The road to his emotion is straight and fast. Now they can ride together. Both enjoy the moment, “your breasts…the fragrance of your breath… your mouth like the best wine“. Here is the lesson for her; you will have little interaction without his satisfaction. Do you desire to please him?
Finally she speaks. She understands that man is a simple creature. He needs his ego boosted, he needs to feel respect and he needs to know that she is his alone. He is the king of the jungle, looking for dangers, challengers and invaders. Any threats, real or imagined, will make the fir fly. She says, “I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me“. She continues to give him something to look forward to, “Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside… Let us go early“. Now there is a renewed unity, “the vines have budded… their blossoms have opened… the pomegranates are in bloom there I will give you my love… at our door is every delicacy… that I have stored up for you, my beloved“. Knowing they are different allows them both to mutually benefit, bonding in a more complete way. In the same way, I believe we must also recognize the creation is different from the Creator. Just as we have a need for love, we have a yearning to worship God. Many of us try to fill the void with momentary delights. Sometimes those substitutes can cause damage. Friend, do you need mending? 1 John 4 explains the genesis of love. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God“. The apostle adds, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins“. He explains that we have reason to hope, “We love because He first loved us“. Will you open yourself up to the love of God? The benefits are unlimited.